Wounds
by moonmythology
Summary: Before the Sith Triumvate, before the Jedi Civil War, there was a girl named Aranel who fell in love with a Sith Lord. Upon hearing his call, she decides to follow him ... PreKotor. FExile-Revan
1. Prologue

Prologue

**Wounds**

_The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears… He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters._

_Psalm 18: 4-6, 16_

**Prologue**

I have imagined myself drowning, frozen and dying so many times that it seems real.

If all your life you have been sleeping: voiceless and soulless, numb, nothing, as if you were dead, tied, frozen at the bottom of the sea, and then someone looks into you, calls you, rescues you, awakens you, would you not respond to him? If you know that this person loves you and you love him, would give everything to follow him?

Before I knew him, I have lived my life as a shadow. I have lived my life as a mould being shaped by others, until he called me. Before him, I was nothing. When he called me, he breathed life into my dead soul. For this reason, I have decided to follow him, and to end many lives for him. For him, I have willingly killed my own soul.

As a blade was raised to chop my head off, I looked desperately to him: perhaps he would rescue me once more. Perhaps there was still hope for me and for him, even if he has turned his back on me. My eyes wandered to my executioner, whose eyes and lips, even under his metallic chin exhibited delight in my torment. I closed my eyes and waited for my executioner's blade to sear through my neck.

--Aranel Stari, Jedi Exile


	2. Part 1, Chapter 1

Part One: Aranel

**Part One: Aranel**

**Chapter 1: An Evaluation**

I strode down through the Great Walkway to the Council chamber. It was my first time on Coruscant, let alone the Great Jedi Temple. Perhaps in an earlier time, I would have been in awe seeing the place I have only heard about from knights who came to Dantooine. In my brown Padawan robes, I seemed to blend in with everyone, though I wished I could have worn a different color. It was barely a week since my Master's death. Like a normal human, I wished I could wear black, but we were taught to let go especially in times of grief. I tried to talk myself out of it since, as my Master once said, it could lead to the dark side. I did not stand out from the crowd like I once hoped: I had light brown skin, small almond shaped eyes, and straight long dark hair which I usually tied up in a bun to make my braid more distinguishable. The hair bun made me look a bit older than I really was. I had the good fortune of being neither too pretty nor too ugly. Jedi Masters usually love that about their Padawans.

I tried to remember Alex's parting words: "Be brave. Whatever they ask you to do, get the job done. That is all that matters." That was easy for him to say, I thought. He had faced the Council numerous times. He was getting more attention because of his former master and friend, Revan. I had never considered Revan to be my friend. I knew that he too was on Coruscant. I couldn't even imagine how I would meet him again. He had always been cold to me. That was alright with me though, because the feeling was reciprocated.

I paused as I faced the Great Double Doors. Only a few have entered the room that I was about to enter. As they opened, I put on my expressionless Jedi face. I needed to look calm, though I knew better that they would read through me.

I stepped forward before four individuals: Masters Kavar, Vrook, Vash, Atris and Zez-Kai-El. Master Vandar appeared on a holo beside them. I bowed before them in respect, trying to convince myself that I was not a bit nervous. I was not a very good liar to others or myself. I tried not to read their minds as I usually did, unconsciously. My master had taught me to be more aware of others' personal space. Besides, I didn't I needed to do it for it was obvious that they all did not like me except Master Kavar who had told them of my awkward situation.

I arose, but lowered my eyes. Master Atris was the first to speak: "Do not be afraid of us Aranel, we are not here to punish you."

"Yes, Ma'am." I straightened up, but perhaps I was still a bit too stiff. They all noticed it.

Master Kavar put his question first: "Tell us what happened on Naboo?"

I sighed. I had wished that I would be spared of narrating the details since it was very obvious that they had already read the reports.

"Master Bel and I went to Naboo to investigate a ruin. We managed to recover a holocron, but on the way out, we were ambushed by locals. We tried to tell them that we were friendly, but they did not seem to understand us. They attacked us, and Master Bel told me to run and not to shot the locals even if they shot at us. I knew that she was right behind me. But after some time, I had noticed that it had grown quiet. When I went back to the place where we were attacked, she was there, hanging in a tree … dead …. I …perhaps they thought that it would scare me off. Or maybe it was a warning not to come back again…"

"We have heard enough," Master Atris interrupted. "Kavar, you shouldn't have asked her, for the painful memory is still fresh. Master Bel died a martyr. She will be forever remembered. She was my fellow Padawan. We have summoned Aranel to evaluate her situation."

"Her testimony shows that she could be easily swayed by the dark side," Master Vrook retorted. "I had often caught her having heated debates with my Padawan. I know of her dark history. Her family was killed by Czerka agents in a land dispute. She was discovered by Master Bel and Revan while they were investigating a cave on Dantooine where she disobediently wandered off from the rest of her schoolmates."

"My father and brother died defending our land from Czerka. They were moisture farmers on Tatooine. Czerka claimed our land as their own, although my grandfather was the first to settle that area near the town they now call Anchorhead long before Czerka built their offices. I was sent to school on Dantooine to avoid the conflict. The neighbors told me that they went hunting but they never went back home. A few days later, their bodies were found in a dump. Czerka claimed that it must have been Sandpeople that killed them but the killers were very obvious. None had contradicted that statement for fear of them."

"What about your mother?" Master Vash asked.

"She died when I was born. I have no memory of her. But Master Bel has become a second mother to me. As Master Vrook said, she discovered me on Dantooine. Livia, my friend had wandered off to a cave so I reported it to my teacher and then her."

"Revan had told us that he found you alone."

"Yes, he did. I was isolated from Master Bel because of a cave in. I had to find a way out on my own when a tukata came. Revan came on time to save me from it."

"But still he killed your friend."

"We found her with the holocron, deranged. She attacked me. It was as if she was another person. No matter how many times I called her and pleaded with her, she did not seem to recognize her own name. I was being choked. The next thing I knew, a blue saber went through her and…she died. When she died, it was as if I felt it. She was my closest friend."

"Do you still blame Revan for her death?"

"I knew that he tried to save me …" As I had remembered my story, I have begun to pity him, to have killed someone at the age of 14. As a Jedi or Padawan, it was unavoidable.

"And the rest is history," Master Kavar cut the meditative silence. "Master Bel took you as her own Padawan until her death in Naboo." He turned to his colleagues. "She has finished her training. I believe she could now be promoted as a Jedi Knight."

"But she still lacks experience in the field," Master Atris pointed out. "She entered the academy at Dantooine at the late age of 9."

"With her history, I wonder why she was ever admitted to the Academy at all!" Master Vrook growled.

Master Vash seemed neutral. "What is your opinion Master Vandar?" she asked his image on the holo.

"Uncertain, this girl's standing is. A trial, believe do I, will determine if this girl worth of knighthood is."

Everyone seemed to agree. "Then it is decided: Aranel Stari will face a trial tomorrow to prove herself worthy of knighthood," Master Vash concluded.

There was an uncomfortable silence. I was not sure if it was some kind of gesture for me to leave. As I had started me retreat to the door, Master Atris' voice stopped me. "Before you go, tell us what you saw in the holocron."

"I didn't see what's inside the holocron. Master Bel forbade me to open it for she told me that it is of the dark side."

"Thank you Padawan. You are dismissed."

I was relived as I went out the large doors. I had thought that they would execute me as soon as I entered those doors. I always expected the worst. Meanwhile, I braced myself as I walked back to the dorms. I was to take the trials on the next day. I wondered what monster they would have me face.

Alek's you-can-do-it statements did nothing to help me. I almost didn't sleep. I had a restless night. I tried reviewing the books I brought with me in case it would be some sort of written or oral exam. I reviewed all the lightsaber stances and movements. They _Juyo_ has not always been my thing so I hope that my examiner would overlook it. Meditating did not help either. I couldn't seem to follow my master's five letter word advice: RELAX. I couldn't seem to do it since the next day would determine my Jedi career.

Trials have always been different for many Jedi. For Alek, it was a trial of skill which he easily accomplished when his duel with Master Zhar ended in a draw. For another friend, whose name is Dil, it was a trial of the flesh when his arm was eaten by kinrath. For Case, still another friend, it was a trial of the spirit when she had to turn down a marriage proposal to become a Jedi. They all past their trials and became Jedi Knights in their mid-teens. I was given the same privilege of which I was very grateful and scared. Several times, I told myself to snap out of it since "fear is the path to the dark side," as Master Vandar always reminded us as younglings. It is a shame that six years later, I had to remind myself of the same thing.

The trials were to be held in a chamber often used for sparring. That would be easy enough, I told myself. I took a deep breath before I opened the door. At the end of the room was a human figure.

"Revan!" I tried not to gasp.

I never expected him to be my examiner—the Jedi prodigy himself. He wordlessly approached me, looking at me intently with his deep brown eyes. He seemed to emit an aura of confidence about him. He was everything the Council expected him to be. Everything about him was proper: his brown well combed hair and his clean well pressed robes that could make a bug slip if it unfortunately manages to land on him.

It was awkward. I tried to break the silence, trying to sound friendly. "I, uh, Alek says hi." A few seconds later, I wanted to disappear because of those idiotic words.

"This is not a game, Stari," he said brusquely. I wouldn't blame him.

I tried to read his mind. Perhaps if I could have read his mind, I would have known how to react to him. But I couldn't. He was like an impenetrable wall.

"Are you going to waste my time, Stari, or are we going to get this over with?" He ignited his blue and purple sabers.

I turned my own purple lightsaber on in response. Without warning, he attacked. From an onlooker's point of view, it would probably seem that Revan had the advantage, having two blades and I only having a short one. But I was taught that having two or one blade is basically the same for one ought to consider each blade as one as halves of a whole. I concentrated on my defense, dodging his slashes as I tried to find openings in his perfect _Niman_ form. He was fast. But he wasn't trying anything. Unsure of myself, I focused on defense, hoping to wear him down. He spun, sliced, jumped. I blocked. After an hour, I was the one getting tired.

"You need more originality than that, Stari. Have you ever tried attacking in anger?"

"Are you that desperate, sir? Am I that much of a pain on your schedule to make you trick me like that? ... _Arrgh_!" I yelped out in pain. I realized that the tip of his blue lightsaber had cut my robe and a bit of my skin on my left shoulder.

"You are boring me. I could have easily cut your arm, but I don't want the Council's funds wasted on a mutilated arm. I could have chosen to slice your face, but that would leave a scar. Someone may not like it."

"Quit distracting me!" I yelled out as I blocked another slash. The shortness of my blade made him move closer. I avoided his next attacked but was able to kick him in the face. That caught him off guard.

I had never seen him smile or laugh. Perhaps my eyes were playing tricks on me as I watched lips flash a small crooked smile as he wiped some blood from it. "You really don't like me, do you?"

"Maybe I would like you better if you would lose at least just this once." I started attacking him changing to a more aggressive _Ataru_ form. He was taking it lightly, yet I could still block my attacks.

"I could, but my reputation is at stake. Sorry."

I lunged at him. Big mistake. He was obviously waiting for that, slashing my lightsaber right through the crystals.

"This fight is over." He shook his robes in attempt to straight some ruffled sleeves. From his appearance, it was as if no fight ensued. Had I been unbiased towards him, I would have said that he looked handsome, like one of the faces that one sees on perfect marble statues. "You can do better than that." With those words, he left. I lost. The sound of his boots echoed on the marble floor.


End file.
